Aparifraf

I was in a hall where usually do karate and I think we’d just seen a concert. A singer called Dodie was there (although she was much younger) and someone had recorded her playing one of her songs. A group of us listened back and I made a point of showing I liked it.

Once it was finished, she then showed me a deluxe album set she’d got of Lenka’s new album. The box was very cool, with two layers of ridges down the side that spelled out the name Lenka. Inside was a CD, a booklet and a couple of other things. Dodie said “Ben, look, she’s signed it Aparifraf.”

I asked how she’d got it and she said she’d ordered it online. She then started blowing bubble gum and got a big row of connected bubbles. She blew it off and it flew towards me so I dodged it. I then grabbed a TV remote and pointed it at her, pressing it and saying freeze. She froze and I ran back around to sit down and unfreeze her. We then played about with that for a while.

There was a bit before that where Mom and I had gone somewhere and we called a taxi. The plan was to get the taxi to drop us somewhere that we could use as a better landmark to call another taxi from to take us home. But I couldn’t get a taxi yet so we asked the driver to keep driving around. Then I realised it’d be quicker just to ask this one to take us home, which we did. He sounded like Jamali Maddix and I almost asked him about Taskmaster, but he turned around and I realised it wasn’t him.

There was also a bit before that where I went to a restaurant with Scarlett Johanson. She was shooting a scene for a film in a room out back. We got settled in this big room and then I went to the toilet. There were two guys in there and as I was finishing, one of the guys complained he needed to use the toilet and the only other one was out of order. I said he could use this one as I was almost finished. I finished and washed my hands while he went to the loo.

When I came back out, Scarlett was sat on a sofa in a silk robe and lingerie. Her body was much bigger and her breasts were oversized too. She said she’d had a call from the director who’d decided to turn it into a sex scene. I asked if she’d done anything like this before, and she said she’d done a couple of adult films. As she spoke, I noticed she had large, cartoon teeth, and twigged that she was playing Jessica Rabbit.