Attack of the Google man

I was part of the crew on a spaceship
I spent most of the time in my room
We went down to earth
I watched a programme about an old soap
It was talking about a character called Ada Bailey who was always trying to get off with the men
I told someone how Rimmer in Red Dwarf had been in jail 2166 times
I’d counted 2164 from the episodes and added 2 on for times he’d been in before the show that he’d referenced
(I think I was a writer on red dwarf)

We went back to the spaceship and I went back to my room
As I opened the door, there was some resistance on the door – a sign of something bad
A man jumped out and attacked me
It was a man in a Google uniform – a scam I’d seen on Reddit in real life where they trick you into coming into your home
I managed to hit him and run
Then I woke up

I went back to school
There was a karate class in the gym
John Cleese was sat at the far end of the room
We had to walk around the mat
As I got to the end of the hall, I swung my bag and the momentum made me fall toward John
I just missed him and thankfully he didn’t seem to notice
I went to my seat and got changed
Then they drove the hall down the road

In the next part I was taking part in school olympics – which was basically a sports day
We went to another school to face kids from the previous year at our school
I recognised a few of them
My old friend Andrew Owen grabbed my hand and tapped it
Someone looked over and waved at him
He was still tapping my hand and I joked it looked like a weird wave

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