Attack of the trains

Mother and I went for a meeting with a health guy called George Staphanopholes (or something like that). Earlier, he’d asked me where I wanted to meet and I said “Well the top floor has a massage parlour, so there?” To which he replied, “I like your style.”

Mother and I went to the top floor. It was a big building that was very peaceful. Everything was lightly coloured and soft. We couldn’t find George, so we waited for a while.

After a while, George turned up downstairs – the floors weren’t the full width of the room, so you could see down onto lower floors – and we figured it was him. Mother went and asked him “Are you George Staphanopholes? You’re only little.” He didn’t seem to take offence.

George took us into a big, dimly lit hall where there was an art exhibition going on, with paintings on the walls and various sculptures dotted around. Everyone in the hall was greeting each other with a one armed hug. Mother thought this was fun and went round hugging people, dragging me with her.

I had a walk around the hall and saw some Doctor Who paintings, which intrigued me. They also had a life-size train that had quite a gothic design, like it wouldn’t look out of place in a Tim Burton film. The train was apparently from the film Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban, although it wasn’t. I think the idea was that it was the Hogwarts Express designed to look similar to the dementors.

The room went dark and the train floated up off the tracks, half way between the floor and ceiling. Everyone was impressed. But then one side of the train peeled off upwards. I grabbed mother and moved us both out of the way because it looked like it was going to come down and smash us. The train did a full spin and came crashing down onto the tracks. It then backed out of the room through a hole in the wall.

I thought the train display was over, but then Thomas the Tank Engine came out and again flew up and started spinning around. It did look cool, but it was also really scary. When it landed, I walked past and the face on the front of the train looked really sinister.

One of the security guards chuckled and said “Still not as good as Bourne.”

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