A Good Day for Anecdotes

Today has been one of those days where it feels like I’m living in a sitcom. So let’s start from the beginning.

On my way to work, I suddenly remembered I hadn’t picked my keys up and Mak wasn’t due in the office until 10am. It was, at this point, 9am. This happened to me a couple of weeks ago, so I did the same thing. To get into the main building, you need a fob. So I waited around by the door until someone went in, then I slipped in behind them. I realised after this made me look a bit suspicious, but it worked.

I then went to the lift, which again you need a fob for, and the same guy got in the lift, so I followed him and he asked which floor I was going to. I said 2 and he pressed the button with the number 2 on it. It was at this point that I realised how easy it would be to infiltrate the building.

I got onto our corridor and went to our office. As expected, Mak wasn’t in. So I did what I did last time, I got my macbook out and started work. Unfortunately the macbook had 10% battery left and my phone battery was negligible. So after about half an hour I just sat there for a bit talking to myself and watching people going up and down the corridor.

One guy went into the toilet opposite our room and he was in there for a good 10 minutes. He did the same thing last week, so Mike and I reckon he was having a quick… fiddle before work. After a while of doing nothing, I suddenly realised that there were plug sockets in the corridor, so I was able to plug my macbook charger in and resume working. Mak turned up at 10:30.

Later on, we had a meeting with a client. Mak offered to make her a drink, but when it came to making the coffee, I realised the tea was one week out of date. So I said I’d run to the shop downstairs and get some. When I left the office, a girl and a woman from the office next door were just leaving theirs. I’ve seen the girl a few times, but never spoken. In fact, if by some miracle she’s reading this now, “Hello!” If in the more likely circumstance she’s not reading this, well then ignore what I just said.

So anyway, they were in front of me, but walking slowly. I was in a rush so I walked quickly past them. The woman said “Ooh, you’re much quicker than us old folk.” and the girl said “Hey, speak for yourself!”. So I laughed and carried on. But when I got to the door, I thought it was only polite to hold it open for them, so I did. Thing is, that made it look like I’d ran ahead to make a big point of being gentlemanly. I got the milk and went back to the meeting.

We were in the middle of the meeting and I needed to blow my nose. I put my hand in my pocket for a tissue and guess what… I found my keys! Yep. During the 90 minutes of waiting for Mak, I never once thought to check my pockets. What an idiot. When I discovered them I accidentally shouted “Oh for god sake!” Which meant that I then had to explain to the client that I’d thought I was locked out earlier when I actually had the keys in my pocket the whole time.

After the meeting, the client said that she needed to use the toilet, so I told her about the disabled one opposite our room which you need a radar key for and we have a radar key for. A few years ago this meant sending a lengthy application to the council detailing your disabilities and hoping you were crippled enough to deserve one. Now you can just get one off Amazon for £2. So I took her across to the toilet, unlocked it and opened the door. Then a hand inside slammed the door shut. Somebody was already in there! Oh god. How embarrassing. Not for me, I had my camera within reaching distance, but for them. How they managed to reach from the toilet I don’t know.

So, that was my day. Well, not all of it, but the notable parts of it.