It’s a shavin’ thing

It started out that Mike was at my house and we were having a bit of a party. Mike went home, but I was seeing him the next day, which was a Sunday. I ordered a taxi and it arrived quicker than I’d expected. I hadn’t packed, so I asked mother to cancel the taxi and quickly started throwing a few articles of clothing into a bag.

Next, Oliver Queen (aka. Green Arrow) was in a garden talking to the land owner. Oliver told him that he’d had to slice open the vaginas of a group of women to find something. The man just went along with it and said “Fighting fire with fire huh?”

I went outside to talk to Oliver and we were attacked by thousands of massive fire ants, so we had to run in the house and lock the door. I said “Man, this is like ‘coming to a cinema near you’ amount of ants!” I turned the TV on and the ant situation was on the news. However, Sonic the Hedgehog came round and cleared it all up.

Then I was at a beach and got a really nice photo of a sunset with waves crashing in the foreground. I walked around a bit and then sat at the edge of a pool. There was an announcement that they were going to do a little presentation on me, which I was quite surprised by. They introduced me, showed some photos and told some stories about me while I just sat at the poolside.

Later, I was back home trying to shave without a mirror in the kitchen. Mother was there and kept pointing out I’d missed bits, so I shouted at her to go into the living room. I went into the bathroom and finished shaving.

Then came the big one. My family and colleagues were hiding in a building and one of the guys from karate (Simon) was planning to crash a plane into the building to kill us. Dave had hidden notes around the room saying
“Just to let you know, everyone downstairs is enjoying this. We were excited, then pumped, then furtive.”
“? Me me me, the business. Me me me, protect the business ?”
I watched out the window and saw the plane coming straight for us, but then it curved and flew back up, missing the building. I went outside and found my family. I told them the plane had missed and we all started singing Livin’ Thing (by ELO).

I was a little emotional as the experience had made me appreciate what I had. As we walked down the road, my teeth started crumbling and falling out.

Finally, Oliver Queen was holding a party and Malcom Merlin was giving a speech. The only thing I remember him saying is “The first mask Oliver ever wore was make up…”

Leave a Comment