I had a bunch of weird dreams last night. My dreams are quite often weird, but I think this set takes the metaphorical biscuit.

The first one, I was at a bus stop and there were a few people there. I heard a guy next to me say to a girl “Put your hands down my trousers.” which she promptly did. That was a bit odd, but then when she took her hands out again, he turned to me and said “Let me put my hands down your trousers.” Now he was a tough looking guy, so I was scared, but I said no and ran off.

Another part, Mike and I were at a train station trying to get a train to somewhere as quick as possible. We couldn’t work out which train we needed to get, but a guy told us if we get the train to Wensleydale, it will stop at Ham, where we need to get off. Thing is, the train was at 9:07 and it was 9:06. So we bought a ticket and ran like hell. When we got there we just missed it, but it turned out it wasn’t even a train, it was a coach. So we checked the board and there was another train calling at Ham at 9:15 and it was now 9:13, so we bought another ticket, ran and this time we got the train.

Then I was back at college, although it was being run by the guys from karate. One of the instructors asked me to hand some worksheets out, so I did. Everyone else was in the park, so I went around handing them out. There was a nice girl there who I refrained from giving a sheet until I’d given the rest out. One person I had to give a sheet to was Eggman from Sonic. Thing is, he was asleep, so I thought I’d slip it in his hand to make sure he gets it. So I gently placed it in his hand, but as I went to pull my hand out, I accidentally tore a purple flower off his suit. He woke up and chased me across the park.

Then finally, I was in a classroom. There were two guys there, one who was called Josh but I called him Oliver, the other one was called Oliver who I called Oliver. The Oliver one had been off during the previous lesson, so Josh was bringing him up to speed. The topic was Shakespeare, but Josh was mainly pointing out bad punctuation. There was one bit where they’d used a plus symbol, a circle and a tick as part of the design of the book cover, and Josh was pointing out that it was bad grammar. I got annoyed and pointed out that ‘every time you use a plus symbol or a circle, it’s not necessarily as punctuation’. He responded by telling me that Philip – from work, who was apparently their teacher – had said that the play Reg’s Castle (apparently a play by William Shakespeare) was in fact all true. I hadn’t heard of the play, much less seen it, so I kept quiet.