Portfolios

Had a dream of two parts.

Part 1

The first was I was at karate and then after I went to a party, but I didn’t have time to change so I had my karate gi on underneath my clothes. And I saw this guy and I decided I had to stop him for some reason. So I climbed on his car and started ripping parts off. Then after a while of dismantling, I grabbed him and hit him. And he surrendered. So I was happy that I’d stopped him. But then he said he wasn’t the last one. And I turned to find his boss standing there. Big chubby guy. And I made a deal with him that if he didn’t kill me I would get him tickets to Goodwin’s next charity night. Which he accepted.

Part 2

This was a late one. I left the school at 11:30 with a few IT teachers, who were by this time drinking and slagging off students. So after I left me and Mak interviewed a young girl for a job. And her portfolio was crap. She’d made some book out of crackers and stuck stuff in it and – as she kept pointing out – put glitter on it. Then she’d printed off a couple of pages of information on the Google Chrome logo. One of which was clearly off Google cos it still had the <123> bit at the bottom. And I was annoyed cos she was good looking but nowhere near qualified for the job. And Mak got me to show her my portfolio, so I did. But then the girl pulled out a gun! And when she pulled the trigger it went “VRRRRRRRRR”

And that was when I was woken up by mother’s hair-dryer.

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