Before we get started, I’d like to make it clear that I’m not actually endorsing the idea that you steal from Dunelm, I merely want to point out how easy it would be if one did fancy some free homeware.

Last week, I bought my mother a photo frame from the Dunelm round the corner from work. When I got it home, we noticed that part of the glass in the corner had been cracked.

We emailed them immediately and they said to return it to the store and they would send out a £15 gift card as compensation. Jolly nice of them. So today I took the frame back and saw that they had the same one in stock, so I thought I’d ask if I could exchange it. I have never read their returns policy – from what happens next, I doubt they even have one – so I did not know if I would be able to or not, but it was worth asking. I took the frame up to the customer services desk and explained the situation to the man at the counter. At first he didn’t really understand me. He asked, “Do you want to buy two of these?” I explained the situation again, this time with a few hand gestures thrown in to somehow clarify some of the details in my story. He understood what I meant and said “Okay, yeah, you can have this one.”

I was happy that I could exchange it, so I said “I’ve got the receipt here.” But before I could even pull the receipt out of my pocket, he said, “Nah, it’s fine mate. Straight swap.” Being the polite and honest person that I am, I still took the receipt out and showed it to him, but again he ignored it and handed me the frame. This angered me a little, because he wasn’t following the rules. I decided that if he wasn’t going to do his job properly, then I would do it for him. I showed him the receipt and said “Just so you can see, this is the receipt proving that I bought the frame.” He thanked me and then I left.

The main thing to pick up on there is that he was willing to let me leave the store with a photo frame without seeing any evidence that I’d bought a frame in the first place.The frame I took back wasn’t even in a bag or anything. I could’ve picked up two frames, smashed one a little, then gone and said the same thing and he would’ve let me have it. I could’ve walked out of there with a free photo frame worth £16.99 because this guy wasn’t competent enough to follow the formalities!

I’ve a good mind to go back in next week and pretend I’m returning a mirror. I wonder how big or expensive the item would have to be before they started checking. You could come away with a free microwave or a roll of carpet. Anyway, the point is, if you’re returning something to Dunelm, don’t bother with a receipt. In fact don’t bother buying it in the first place, just break one of their products and get the unbroken one free.