The Golden Ship


Had some odd dreams last night. In the first one, Homer Simpson was in hospital having an operation. He had an IV drip that was filled with beer. He was half asleep, so when he saw the bag he ripped it open and squirted it into his mouth.

But then he woke up and realised it was a dream. He was still in hospital, but his IV bag had blood in it. Still, he opened it and squirted it out in front of him and he died. Then he woke up again and saw the IV bag, but didn’t touch it.

In the next part of the dream, the devil appeared on a gameshow and told everyone he would be back to destroy the world the next day at noon.
The next day, Mother and I were getting our shoes and coat on ready. I was putting on my brown boots and Mother questioned if they were suitable footwear. I said they were.

I said, “If I were the devil, and I was really evil, I’d turn up at 11 to catch people unready.”

We still had an hour to go, so I built a little weapon out of 1×2 flat Grey Lego bricks.

When 12pm arrived, the devil had not. We went outside and I saw him at the top of a cliff. He had captured Amy and Rory from Doctor Who. Rory managed to stall him by asking him a math question he’d just learned. I can’t remember exactly what it was, but it was something about pouring liquid into a cup and working out how much liquid was in there, but the obvious answer turns out to be wrong because if you pour it out of the cup after then something happens. The devil tried to answer and got it wrong, which annoyed him greatly.

While he was answering though, it gave Amy time to send a text to the Doctor. The ground started wobbling and the Doctor’s voice came through the phone on loudspeaker.

“Remember that monster we couldn’t see,” he said, referencing the Krafayis from an episode called Vincent and the Doctor, “well guess who’s back!”

The ground was now really shaking and cracking all around them. Suddenly a giant creature came crashing out of the building on the side of the cliff. It was similar to the Krafayis In the episode, but it was more the colour of a pigeon, with feathers on his wings and head that glistened with all the colours of the rainbow. Apparently, it was able to shrink or grow to fit its surroundings – an ability it couldn’t do in the episode.

The Krafayis flew out, with the Doctor riding on its back. It flew up, the Doctor grabbed Amy and Rory and they flew back down to the streets.

Amy asked about the devil, but the Doctor said, “Don’t worry about him, he’ll go now he’s seen me.”

After the chaos was over, I went on a boat ride with the Doctor, Amy, Rory and Oliver Queen (aka. The Green Arrow). It was a small boat, a bit like a jet ski, but long enough to fit 6. The man running the boat rides introduced the instructor at the end of the boat who would be going with us. He said his name was Michael Dhark.

Oliver recognised him. It was Damien Dhark – one of Green Arrow’s enemies – but he’d died his hair blonde. He whispered this to us. Oliver asked him something about his name, but he said, “There’s lots of people with that surname, just like there are with Tennant.” He gestured to David Tennant, who was now apparently with us. We headed out to sea and I don’t know what happened to us there, as the dream cut to me on a bus with my family.

We got off the bus and I announced that I’d gotten Grandad an OBE. I showed them a letter to the queen, which said he’d been awarded it ‘for services to manufa…’ it was cut off there for some reason and started the next sentence.

I told them the Queen had mentioned Sherlock Holmes in the episode and had said her favourite episode was The Man With The Twisted Lip (I think, I can’t be certain that’s what it was in the dream). Someone joked that I should reply and I joked I could be her pen pal. Grandad then invited Lee and his friend Matthew to their house, but Lee said they weren’t ready yet. Something bad had happened at the house before and they were too ‘traumatised’ by it to go back.

There was then another dream where a villain had stolen a wooden ship, turned it into a solid gold ship and made it fly in the sky. The police chief asked me to stop the villain and I said I would. I went back to my flat, which I shared with Michael Cera (the actor, don’t ask me why) and I started packing a bag for him too, including his notebook. He didn’t want to take it with him in case anything happened to it, but I warned him we probably weren’t coming back.

When I’d finished packing our bags, I went to my nan – who was also living in a flat – and told her to pack too. I left her packing 3 big boxes of tissues and went to the toilet. I called out to her, “Michael says everyone gets a bit weepy these days.”

Now, I can often tell where elements of my dreams come from and while this run of dreams may seem odd, I know where several things came from.

  • Homer Simpson – I’d watched the Simpsons just before bed
  • The 1×2 flat Grey Lego bricks – I’d bought a pack of them that day for something I’m building
  • The math problem and the Krafayis – I’d been discussing math problems and Doctor Who with someone not long before bed
  • Green Arrow – I’d started watching it again this week
  • The queen liking Sherlock – I’d seen a bit of Have I Got News For You where Theresa May said she liked Sherlock Holmes
  • Nan’s tissues – My nan’s nickname is Nanny Tissues, as she always, without fail, had a packet of tissues on her when we were young

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