Had a dream last night where I was helping teach at a school. In one class, there was a bunch of kids that were misbehaving. The teacher told them they needed to ‘change their ways’, so we took them to an improvisation workshop. True to form, they played up there as well, messing about, being violent and general misbehaviour as you’d expect from those type of kids. The organisers of the workshop told us that they might lose the venue if the workshops were not successful, so the teacher and I realised we had to go and stop the kids and make them behave. However, the security guard wouldn’t let me past as I was ‘not on the list’. Some of the kids came out to see what was going on and I filled them in on everything.

Suddenly, the kids started improvising scenes in the corridor, speaking in Shakespearean voices to try and impress the guard. I joined in, shouting “Die! Die! Die!” repeatedly whilst grabbing a girl by the throat. The security guard stopped us and asked why we were doing this. I stepped up to make a speech.

‘It’s because we care,’ I said, doing an American salute, ‘These kids… yes, there were bad kids, but they’ve changed. Really changed! They’re good kids now, but they’re still being bad. If we don’t get in there and make the good kids who are bad stop being bad and be good, we might lose this venue and that’s bad!’

I rambled on for quite a while in a similarly repetitive way. My mind apparently got bored of this and the dream moved to a council estate where David Jason was solving a murder. It turned out to be a policeman called Louis who had committed it. David Jason said to him ‘The only things you get are sleep and lost.’

In the dream, that last line made a lot of sense and was a really good line. Out of context though, I can’t remember what the hell it was about.