The night of five dreams

Had a series of dreams last night. I kept waking up, making a note of the dream and then going back to sleep for another.

In the first dream, I was on holiday abroad. I was staying on a resort that was on a small island off a larger island. At one point I was eating in an outdoor restaurant. It had wooden furniture – in fact most of the resort was made of wooden huts and wooden furniture. A couple (who I know from dog training in real life) asked if I would look after their dog, Macca, and make sure he didn’t drown. Apparently the dog loved diving in the bathtub, but if he was under for more than 6-7 seconds he would drown. I said I would and they went off to the larger island for a night out.

I later went to the the larger island myself to meet up with Mike. However, we hadn’t been together long before pirates started attacking. As the ships came in and the pirates made their way onto the shore, I told Mike about the rule that if people from the resort were on the larger island – which was known as ‘woman’ – then the pirates would kill them, but if you were on the resort – which was known as ‘dead’ – then the pirates could not kill you. So, as the pirates spread out across the beach and up climbed up over the rocky areas, people were running around shouting “Head for dead!”

Mike and I tried to figure out the best path to get back to the resort island, but a pirate (who had a brown coat and ginger beard, with the traditional black boots and three pointed hat) was right by us. I tried to hide behind a large rock, but he spotted me before I got under cover.

Then I woke up.

Then I went back to sleep

In the next part, I was in a shower in a leisure centre. It was a big communal shower room, with several showers separated with cubicles, but the walls were quite low so you could see across them. A woman gave me some ‘finisher’ for my hair and I started washing it. Two kids came into the shower and were standing watching me. I didn’t really care, but Roger (my karate instructor) kicked them out. I noticed that others in the shower were watching me, so I started doing a silly walk to make them laugh – which they did.

Then I woke up.

Then I went back to sleep.

In the next dream, I was working in my old colleague’s office because I wasn’t able to move into the office of my new job yet. My former colleague, Mak, was complaining to one of our clients, Philip, about a piece of work that I had done before I left. Mak was obviously hinting out to me, but didn’t want to tell me directly. My mother then called and told me her friend wanted a letterhead designing, but didn’t want to pay. I asked Mak if he wanted to do it and he declined, so I told her it couldn’t be done.

Then I woke up.

Then I went back to sleep.

In this next dream I was at a charity event. It was set up by a friend of ours in real life who runs a charity set up in memory of her son who she lost. They were holding an auction to raise money and I’d gone with my mother who was moaning about being there. I had a go at her and said, ‘How would you like it if it was you trying to raise money and people were moaning about being here?’

I had a look in my bag for something to donate for the auction, but then I saw on the screen that I’d already given a few copies of my book, Four Eyes, as a donation. They were in the ‘one pound’ category, which I wasn’t best pleased about.

The auction was not due to start for a while, so I went off to get a drink. I met up with Mike who was talking to a girl. We went to sit down with her group of friends, but I ended up on the opposite side of the circle of chairs from Mike, who was next to the girl. I saw an organ glide past us, so I text Mike to tell him that an organ was escaping and he replied ‘I’m free!’

Then I woke up.

Then I went back to sleep.

The final dream featured characters from the Simpsons, but they weren’t 2D like the usually are. I don’t remember exactly if they were real life people or 3D or what, but they weren’t 2D. Anyway, in the dream Lisa went for job interview and took Maggie with her. They had to pass a series of tests (including written questions and practical puzzles) in order to get the job, but Maggie started taking the tests as well. The examiners didn’t realise Maggie was a baby, as at one point they said ‘We’re assuming you’re at least 8 years old so let’s skip all the basic stuff.’

One of the tests is to put the right amount of turtles in a jar. Maggie took the one that was already in there out of the jar and put two in, which turned out to be the correct answer. Lisa was jealous. She complained to Marge, ‘Anyone can count turtles, but you can’t do this puzzle in the newspaper.’

At that point, I was sitting opposite Ralph Wiggum, who was working on the problem in the newspaper. It looked like a Soduku – a 9×9 grid, with each square made up of 9 boxes – and you had to fill the first 2 squares with the answers to 3 questions. However, the answers didn’t have to be written out in order (you could put any letter in any box) and the letters on each horizontal line had to spell out a word. I couldn’t solve it, but Ralph solved it really quickly.

I said to him, ‘Ralph, how the hell did you do that?’
He replied, ‘I just put the letters in all jumbled up and it fit.’

Then I woke up.

And I didn’t go back to sleep.