Thoughts on… shampoo

Question. Have you ever read the back of a shampoo bottle? Well I have. I like to think that if somebody asked me if I read in the bath I could proudly say yes. Although, if anybody ever did ask me “Have you ever read in the bath?” my reply would undoubtedly be “No, who’s it by?”.

Anyway, my point is this. I was reading the back of a shampoo bottle once and it said ‘suitable for vegetarians’. Now, my initial thought was ‘Are vegetarians notorious for eating shampoo?’ Because my mother’s a vegetarian and I sometimes cook her dinner, so i’m thinking shampoo canapés. Could you imagine in a restaurant a waiter offering you some shampoo with your chips. “No thanks, I’ll stick with the washing up liquid.”

I mean who decided to put the warning on there? I imagine that during manufacture, some silly sod switched the ketchup in the canteen with shampoo and watched as people ate it. Then because they didn’t die afterwards they put a note on the back to warn vegetarians that if they did accidentally consume some then it would be fine. Then again, who eats ketchup that looks like shampoo? I mean i’m not too fussy about the quality of my tomato sauce, but if it came out white and frothy I’d complain.

Which then begs the question… What about vegans? We must have this information! I don’t want to be at a funeral and have some crying widow say “He died doing what he loved, eating shampoo.”

But personally I feel sorry for those with shampoo that’s not suitable for vegetarians.
“What you eating?”
“Shampoo.”
“Oh, can I try some?”
“No, sorry, it’s not suitable for vegetarians.”