Had a weird dream last night. I can’t remember the first half, but at some point I was called away by my manager, Gary Sambrook, to attend a meeting. It turned out I’d been put in as a candidate for the local elections and I had to give a speech to a group of school kids about how I would help them with their music and other classes. Of course, this was one of my dreams, and no Ben dream would be complete without a cameo from Zooey Deschanel, who reprised her role as the teacher Miss Day (from New Girl) just for my dream.

Thing is, I hadn’t prepared anything. So I went in and just starting saying nonsense to begin with, about how important school was and stuff. Then I really started getting into it and made up a load of stuff about how I’d help them. Then the teacher decided to test me, she said “But do you really think they’re doing enough?”
“Good question Mrs … ?”
“Miss Day.”
“Good question Mrs Miss Day,” I liked that joke, “Well, enough is never enough. I know it’s a cliché but it’s true. You can do a brilliant essay and send it off, then you look back and think ‘Oh, I could’ve said this’. Well you should be putting ‘this’ into it in the first place! ”
At this point I was really into it, waving my arms around and shouting at them. I had no idea what I was talking about, but still.
“Take my job, for instance. I’m a graphic designer, and a client will come to me and ask for a website and a logo. I don’t just give them that. I give them a website with SEO and social networking to go with it. I give them a logo, business card, colour palette and style guide. It’s about thinking ‘What else can I do to make this really stand out?’. It’s also about who you know. If any of you want to be designers, I’ve got friends who are designers who can talk with you and give you experience. You want to be a musician? Great! I’m a musician, and I know others who can help you out too. What I’m saying is this… Your teacher – as lovely as she is – she’s an idiot!”
(Cue startled look from Zooey)
“She’s teaching you boring stuff like History and Politics. Yeah, you need to know a bit about that, but you should be learning about life! So vote for me, or whatever it is you’re supposed to be doing. I don’t know, I only came in here looking for the toilet.”

And that got a big applause. So Gary and I left and I said “So, how did I do?” and he said “Uh… It was the wrong classroom. Sorry.”

And then we walked down the corridor and I woke up. I like it when my dreams end on a punchline.