Is it a bird? Is it a plane? No, it’s nan on the roof again.

Everything has worked out fine, You broke my heart, So I broke your spine.

Every time I go upstairs I get a funny feeling, That this house would be so much better if we had a ceiling. It gets so bad that sometimes I just sit and laugh, At how I also get a shower when i’m sitting in the bath.

While walking through a field in Kent, I happened upon a fortune teller’s tent. So there I stopped and changed my path, I went inside just for a laugh. There she sat, in all her jewels, Ready to rip off tourist fools. She told me “Sit!” and so I did, And handed over fourteen quid.…

If you want me to feel unwell, Get me an album by Adele.

First she stole a kiss from me, Then she stole my heart. Then she stole my keys, And drove off in my car.

The spider said to the fly, I simply can’t understand why, They think that i’m scary, just cos i’m hairy, When really i’m such a nice guy. The fly agreed with a sigh, you have the same problem as I, They do nasty things, like pull of my wings, Just to see if I die.…

She’s a pain in the bum, But then she’s our mum, And that’s what mums are for. When I was young I was told, You can’t do that till your older. Well now i’m older, And I never do what i’m told. And there’s mud on the floor.

You’ll have lots of fun, with the girl called Yvonne, Cos really she’s not very fussy. She’s a terrible flirt, who’ll lift up her skirt, And show everybody her stamp collection!   (well, you’ve got to lick it before you stick it in)

Have you ever been, on a putting green, Whilst wearing your mother’s clothes? Miseed the ball, Had an unlucky fall, And the club lodged up your nose.