I was watching a shopping channel where they were showing off a new dog collar on TV. While the man was presenting, the dog did a wee on the carpet. The presenter was horrified.

Later, I was at college and my friend Gush was telling someone how he was going to make and sell his own chocolates, and planned to quit his job and do it full time. The other guy thought he should. I suggested Gush tell him how he was planning to make them first. The tutor came over to listen. Gush said he was going to buy some biscuits and chocolate from the shop, then melt the chocolate onto the biscuits.