On the way to work this morning, I was picked up by one of my favourite taxi drivers. He’s a nice bloke and we have a chat and a laugh. This morning he came up with half a jingle. We were talking about barbecues and then it went silent for a bit, and then he just sang “It’s a bar-be-ma-cue and…” But he didn’t finish it, so we’ll never know what the ‘and’ was leading on to. Barbemacue and paramasol? Barbemacue and food?

Anyway, the way he did it is something that annoys me. Y’know when you tell someone a joke and they laugh and then it goes quiet and then after a while they chuckle and go “Cuh, yeah.” That really annoys me. I remember once we had guests and I made some funny remark about bread or something which got a laugh, and then I went into the kitchen and made them a drink, came back in a few minutes later and they chuckled and said “Cuh, bread.” Were they thinking about that the whole time I was in there?!

This wasn’t the first time the driver’s come up with a clever little ditty. A while ago he also sung a parody to In The Navy, that went “In the gravy, you can soak your spuds and peas.” I’ve never heard this version and couldn’t find it anywhere online, so well done to him for coming up with it.

Anyway, today I’m dressed in my ‘Doctor Who’ clothes (the black jeans, black boots and tweed jacket like what Matt Smith wore) and I started thinking about if I pretended to be the Doctor. So I started sticking my chin out and pulling faces to look more like him. Then, after a while of doing this, I happened to look to my left and noticed that there was a blonde girl in a florists van next to us staring at me. I just smiled and we drove on.

Then that song, Happy (by Pharrell Williams) came on the radio and the driver said “I sing this when I’ve got diarreah, cos I’m crappy.” which, as a joke, was itself crappy, but then he said “Happy like a room without a roof? … What a f*cking stupid song.” That made me laugh, partly because it’s 100% true, but also the way he said it, as if he’d only just realised he’d been listening to nonsense.

So that was my journey to work today.