Had a dream last night in which my mother, brother and I had moved house to a big, posh house. I don’t think it was in Birmingham. It might have been in Wales. I seem to remember Wales for some reason.

Anyway, this house was amazing and I was really excited to be there. It was so big and spacious and it looked like the sort of house you’d find in Spain (we’ve stayed in a similar house in real life). I kept thinking it was like being on holiday every day. My favourite thing about the house was that it had its own swimming pool. It was a great big pool inside a glass conservatory, so the light shone through – not unlike one I’d seen on a property show on TV yesterday in real life actually.

After we’d had dinner, I said I was going to go for a swim. I went to my room and got my trunks on, then I needed a wee, so I went to the toilet. The toilet room was again massive and quite a gap between the door and the toilet. As I started peeing, someone opened the door. I told them to shut it, but they opened it more. It was a few girls and behind them a bunch of guys. Apparently there’d been a party at our house. They all stumbled in and I did my flies up to cover my shame. Then I realised it was my house and I didn’t care, so I carried on peeing – much to the surprise of some of the people.

The one girl tried to start flirting with me, but I got angry, told her off for being drunk and left. Outside the toilet I found Matt Lucas, to whom I complained about the drunk people. He quiet agreed.

I was at a school talking to a girl. We went into a classroom and I sat next to my mother. The teacher came in and announced that a small meteor was about to hit nearby. He said it would either bounce back off into space or it would explode and destroy the city… and us. He partially drew the curtains (the meteor would apparently make a bright light) and we sat and waited. Then he started counting down and we saw a great light coming from behind the curtains. I held onto mother’s hand in fear. Then there was a tiny little bump and the light went away. The teacher announced that it had bounced back into space. Everyone was very glad.

Later in the dream, I went up to the shops by my house to meet Goodwin. He was working in the pharmacy and I could see him as I peered through the window. I also saw a switch on the wall, so I turned it off as a joke. It switched off all the lights. Goodwin wasn’t happy. His boss was even more unhappy.

Also in the dream, I was watching TV and there was a news bit about Mollie King (formerly of The Saturdays) who had arrived at an airport after recording Strictly Come Dancing (which I believe she’s on in real life). She came and hugged a fan and then got a photo with her. Stephen Mulhern was also there and wanted a photo, so they all squatted (like they were constipated) and did a cheesy grin to the camera. Because Stephen was in the foreground near the camera, he moved to the right a little and covered up the fan.

There was another bit where I was at home and watching TV with my brother. I had a load of letters that had been kept by the post office for years and finally delivered to me. When I opened them, they were all bills and bank statements from 2012 onwards. This suddenly explained a load of random bank charges I’d been paying.

In the final part of the dream, I was in Paris with my mother. We got off the train and headed out. It was raining, but I suggested we still walk because it wasn’t far and French rain was much nicer than British rain. So we walked along a bridge and got to a museum. We met up with Mike and Goodwin and I went to pay. My friends didn’t have any money and the man at the counter laughed at us, but then I announced that I’d already bought tickets and pulled them out. He stopped laughing and I was woken up by my alarm.