The first part of last night’s dream was my nephew, Max, singing the Doctor Who theme, but he was singing the words “doctor who” to the tune of the theme. It’s hard to explain, but it was fun to watch.

In the next part, I was in a small room in school and I was on trial for something. I cheekily asked the judge if I could try his gavel, but he sternly said no. Samuel L Jackson gave evidence against me, but it turned out if he was going to officially give it as evidence, he would have to reveal to the whole world about the secret organisation we worked for. It wasn’t SHIELD, but it seems I was part of this secret organisation and had been accused of doing something wrong. Jackson decided to not to give evidence against me and, as he left, I heard him mutter that he’d get his revenge. I cheerily said “Toodles” as he left.

I waited for Mike at a gate outside the school. I saw there were two busses pulled up at a nearby bus top. There was a line of buddhist monks – bald men dressed in orange – getting on the one and everyone else getting on the other. I waited for a while but couldn’t see Mike.

After a while, I noticed a girl walking by. She had ‘rainbow hair’ – purple, blue, green and black mixed together like a tie dye shirt. Similar to this but less colours and more ‘swirly’ like a tornado

She saw me looking around and thought I was looking out for her friend who also had rainbow hair. She told me that her friend had been having ‘sad days’ recently, so I felt a bit bad that I wasn’t looking for her. I told rainbow hair girl that I was waiting for my friend, but since he hadn’t showed I’d walk with her if that was okay. She said it was and we walked off together, chatting as we walked.

As we walked down the road, we passed a fence lined with trees on the other side. She asked me to have a look and see if they’d converted the buildings behind into flats. I had a look and told her they hadn’t. She chuckled and said “You should see the Calais things.”

I didn’t know what she meant and thought she was saying “Gualle” and it was slang for Guatemalan.

I asked her what she meant and she told me that Calais had interesting buildings. I said “Okay, sounds good. Now I just need to figure out where Calais is and I’m fine.” That made her laugh.

After a while, we arrived at a big junction in the road and realised we were lost. I seem to recall that we were abroad, but I spotted Aston University behind some buildings and recognised where I was. I remembered looking at a map to plan the route between the university and the hotel (or ‘my digs’ as I referred to it) where I’d been staying the year before. It was pretty much a straight line from where we were, down Oxford Street and just past the market.

Just as we were about to cross the road, a big car made to look like an egg drove by and a guy in a chicken costume bibbed his horn. He called something out to me, but I didn’t know what to do, so I just gave him a faux-friendly smile and a wave, hoping he’d just carry on. There was also a guy dressed as a hot dog riding a motorbike following him.

We eventually got back to the bus stop (I don’t know why we’d come full circle instead of going to my digs) and everyone was on the busses waiting for us. I turned to rainbow hair girl and said “They’re going to be so poster, we should’ve faked scars or something.”

I’m not sure if ‘poster’ was slang my subconscious made up or a typo. I think I meant they would have an exaggerated expression of surprise, like a stock photography model on a poster.

Anyway, we got on the bus and off we went.

In the next part of the dream, I was sat on a bench with my nan and grandad.  They were trying to find out the time of the next bus. My nan asked a foreign man who was also on the bench, but he didn’t know. He wasn’t homeless, but he had ragged clothes and a grey beard. I looked up the bus stops on a map on my phone, but I couldn’t find Colmore Row, which is where we were.

Later on, Lee was at ours with my nephew, Max, and niece, Halle. We were watching TV and an advert came on for a toy. It was similar to a dog puzzle toy, with different activities on each section. The voiceover said that it was “The perfect toy for your dog and baby to play together.”

I pointed out to Lee how unhygienic it sounded and he agreed.