In last night’s dream, Goodwin and I were walking home from town. As we were walking down a long stretch of road that curved round slightly, we saw a man holding a gun and muttering to himself.

We tried to turn around without getting his attention. He spotted Goodwin straight away and spotted me as I was walking away. I didn’t know what to do, but he pulled out another gun and pointed it at me, so I decided to go back.

I explained we were just passing and said he was going painted the road silver for us. He also said he was thirsty, so I gave him Goodwin’s bottle of coke. He then asked for some food, so we walked back into town to get him some while he started painting the road.

The next part of the film was part of an episode of Eastenders, despite the fact I haven’t seen it in real life for about a decade. In the episode, Janine had killed Paul and was very slowly confessing it to a bunch of people, including his brother, Simon. When she eventually revealed what she’d done, everyone was very shocked, but none more so than Martin, who proceeded to push George Harrison and a few others into a grave and start burying them alive. It was a very slow process, because he used a small cup to shovel the dirt in. A girl behind him was shouting, “Throw it onto George.”

There was a policewoman there, but she wouldn’t do anything. I decided it was up to me to stop him, so I pushed him into the grave and put his arm into a lock I’d learnt at karate. I’d apparently always been the quiet, nerdy one in the show, so he turned to me and said, “you’ve changed haven’t you?”

In the final part of the dream, my friend Kitty sent me a video on Snapchat. It was a 10 minute long film she’d made about her applying to be a spy at a secret organisation. She was being interviewed by my Brazilian friend, Nadine, although her character was called Ariana in the film.

The film mostly consisted of Kitty leaving her house, sneaking into the secret headquarters, bumping into Ariana and asking her for a job. There was a little montage of her doing some physical tasks and then she got the job.

What was weird was, in the dream I noticed things that Kitty had apparently told me about. For instance, the front part of her house was partly underground, so when you walked along the drive, you could see the top bit of the living room window poking out above the concrete. And in the dream I saw that in the video and thought “Oh, I remember telling me about that.” But she’s never told me that in real life.

I’ve never heard Kitty speak in real life, as we talk online, but she has told me that she’s got an American accent with bits of other accents mixed in because she’s travelled and lived in different places all her life. In my dream, this was interpreted as a generic American accent with a bit of Russian thrown in.

Anyway, Kitty got the job and that was the end of the dream.