Trump videos

At a big play centre with max and his friends. There was a big play area – a padded playground, like a giant quilt – and a row of seats along a wall where people were sat.

There were some kid-sized bikes that looked like motorbikes and normal bikes. Max kept riding into people on purpose so I told him to stop.

I then went on one of the bikes and drove it expertly round the play area and back, tooting the little horn as I passed Nick Knowles, who was there and eating some snack.

My friend Goodwin was there and he’d filmed it. He borrowed my phone for something and sneakily uploaded the video. I managed to stop it before it uploaded.

Goodwin showed me a video of Donald Trump doing something and then the man himself came over. Goodwin said let’s see another one and I pointed out Trump was right behind him. Trump kept asking what we were watching and I said one of his old campaign videos. He asked else we had, asking if we had videos of himself including one where he’s dressed as Madonna. I said “Believe it or not, Trump, unlike you I have interests in things other than yourself.”

He tried to laugh it off saying “Okay, but the J B… T D are gonna get a surprise.”

I rolled my eyes and said “Whatever.”

As he left, he was really hunched over, so I did a Gollum impression loudly going “My precious” and everyone in the room laughed at it.

Girl taxi driver, having to direct her.

When she’s nearly here I run back in to get clothes.