Since I have such crazy dreams and can often remember them, I decided to start documenting them and tagging them to see the most common things I dream about.
There are lots of dreams in my youth that I never made note of – including the earliest dream I remember in which I attended a seminar held by the Pokémon Squirtle. He came on stage and said "Hello, I'm Squirtle" and sprayed everyone with water.
I also occasionally have a recurring dream that is just me eating croutons for what feels like an hour and I also had a dream that made me terrified of Timothy Spall.
There are a few things that are consistently featured in my dreams, such as my ability to glide across the floor - either on my heels or floating slightly. So prevalent was this when I was young that I was convinced I'd done it in real life at some point.
It does sometimes become very difficult to distinguish dreams from real life. I didn't get my HND certificate because I thought I already had, but I realised a few days later that I'd actually dreamed it.
So, here are all the dreams that I've remembered...
Dreams recorded: 447
David Mishmash
In this dream, I was watching QI. Bob Mortimer was hosting and asked the following question related to David Mitchell: “True or false, the phrase ‘mish mash’ came about as…
Ozzy’s house
At the start of last night’s dream, I came downstairs into the living room and Mike was sat on the sofa. I asked him if it was shorts weather –…
The everlasting candle
Smudger, Laura and Matt from work had come to work at my house. It didn’t look anything like my house though, as my brother had redecorated and redesigned all the…
Escape to the food hall
Can’t remember much of last night’s dream. I was at the NEC or some exhibition centre with Mike and some other people. We got off the bus and were walking…
Aquaman and the aliens
The dream started off with me watching a Justice League film. There had been one released recently that mixed live action with comic book style cutaways, but someone had produced…
Donuts are coming
Mike and I agreed to take part in a football thing to raise money for charity. To celebrate, we ordered some Krispy Kreme donuts. While we waited, I put some…
It’s a shavin’ thing
It started out that Mike was at my house and we were having a bit of a party. Mike went home, but I was seeing him the next day, which…
The couple at the log cabin
I had a dream last night in which I was on holiday with my boss, Dave. It was a retreat kind of place with a log cabin next to a…
The great glass toilet
The taxi came for work and I got ready to go out to work. I wanted to go barefoot, but mother made me go and get some socks on. Instead…
Toe-sucking fun
In the dream, mother was at home in the living room with my nephew, Max. Her colleague had come round to drop something off, but Max was really shy around…
Having to put Zeta down
I had a dream last night that I had to put my dog, Zeta, down at the vets. I don’t remember anything else about the dream, other than it was…
Nadine and Max
Had a dream last night in which my nephew, Max, and my Brazilian friend, Nadine, were both at my house. Nadine was a lot younger than she is in real…
A sad dream about Zeta
I can’t remember much about the dream, but it focussed around me having to put my dog, Zeta, down. Somehow she’d managed to live until 45, but it was still…
Starry Night on a Tuesday
I went for drinks with the family and when we were nearly finished, Matt from work said he’d drop me at school. He wanted a cup of tea first though,…
A trillion likes
I was at work and we had an intern (a young guy) in the office. Dave was out of the office so I sat in his chair and played Frank…
Attack of the trains
Mother and I went for a meeting with a health guy called George Staphanopholes (or something like that). Earlier, he’d asked me where I wanted to meet and I said…
Alli
The dream started off with me at work. We had to try and get some songs our clients had recorded onto the radio, but we weren’t getting responses. That’s all…
Dogs up the ring
I was up the ring (a little local park) with mother. There were several dogs, so we played with them for a while and then mother went to get a…
An ancient traditional jester’s outfit
Two people were tasked with making a Harley Quinn figure. One made a life size one, the other a normal sized figure. Meanwhile, a man was looking in a museum…
Hang the Dog
I flipped through the newspaper and saw an ad for a missing dog called Hang. I went outside and saw it up the ring (a local park) so I brought…
I am Newt
Can’t remember much about last night’s dream, except that I was in my living room with Mike and Scarlet, an old friend from school. We were playing a computer game…