Since I have such crazy dreams and can often remember them, I decided to start documenting them and tagging them to see the most common things I dream about.
There are lots of dreams in my youth that I never made note of – including the earliest dream I remember in which I attended a seminar held by the Pokémon Squirtle. He came on stage and said "Hello, I'm Squirtle" and sprayed everyone with water.
I also occasionally have a recurring dream that is just me eating croutons for what feels like an hour and I also had a dream that made me terrified of Timothy Spall.
There are a few things that are consistently featured in my dreams, such as my ability to glide across the floor - either on my heels or floating slightly. So prevalent was this when I was young that I was convinced I'd done it in real life at some point.
It does sometimes become very difficult to distinguish dreams from real life. I didn't get my HND certificate because I thought I already had, but I realised a few days later that I'd actually dreamed it.
So, here are all the dreams that I've remembered...
Dreams recorded: 447
Have you ever seen a la-la?
I was in a Wetherspoon pub with my family and Simon (a friend from college). They’d completely changed the menu, with the main focus of it being a ‘pick n…
The offensive U
I was in the office at work talking to my boss, Dave, about the singer and comedian Boothby Graffoe (check him out!). Dave said he didn’t think he was that…
The blue blazer
Can’t remember much of last night’s dream. We were going out for a meal with the karate guys and I’d decided to wear navy blue jeans and a navy blue…
The flirty blonde
I was on the train sat next to a nice blonde girl. She was really flirty and I was quite shy. She asked me to read to her and then…
Walsall council tenancy
I was in my room with comedian Lou Sanders. She was offering to teach me about different types of orgasms, but the light was off and I was too busy…
News and scaffolding
Gush and I were in a canteen and the woman serving asked me what kind of potatoes I wanted. I asked for roast potatoes but she said they didn’t have…
The karate bully
Had a dream last night in which I was at karate. There were two kids, a little younger than me, who were bullying all the little kids. One of them…
Black Coco Pops
I was a superhero in a team and we were infiltrating an office in the city. The villain had set up a trap so that when someone lit their cigarette,…
Avengers at karate
I was at karate and the usual people were there, but Paul Rudd and Anthony Mackie (who play Ant-Man and Falcon in the Marvel films) were there too. I don’t…
Slapping in the train station
I was at a train station on the concourse and trying to get through security. There were lots of different scanners (the doorframe type things with the metal detectors on)…
Linda Perry
I was working on an animation project in a team where two people had just quit. They’d left because a woman called Linda Perry had been unbearable to work with.…
A persistent Nan
I was at home and was having a meal with mother, Mike and two girls. I think we had fish and chips. One of the girls, who was quite a…
A drunken Ramsay
On my way home from somewhere, I bumped into 3 people I knew from school. One of them spotted me and said hello. My hair was very messy and I…
The people in white coats
Lee and I went to a show that I’d quickly booked up as a surprise. I think it was a rock band. While we were there, I overheard Lee talking…
Red buildings
In the dream I woke up ready for work, but my clock said it was 11:00. I ran downstairs and the clock said 8:00. My alarm had been set for…
Charlie Pasquale
I was in a theatre with mother and a few friends. We were going to see Dave Gorman, but we were running a bit late. We had seats in the…
Scarface serum
I was on holiday with Mike, but that didn’t really feature in the dream much. The main part of the dream took part in a big house out in the…
Room 712
I went to a new school that I’d enrolled in. It was about a 50 minute drive from my house. I was suppose to go a few days ago but…
Zarni and Dr Padoma
I was at home and getting ready to go back to school for the final year. I’d had no letter or anything to prepare me, just the date we were…
The interrupted anecdote
I was on a train in London with mother, nan and grandad. The train we were on wasn’t going to London Euston, so we had to get off and get…
Fencing with rulers
Mother and I were in hospital looking after a man. I don’t know who he was, but from what I recall he was in a secret organisation that we were…