Since I have such crazy dreams and can often remember them, I decided to start documenting them and tagging them to see the most common things I dream about.

There are lots of dreams in my youth that I never made note of – including the earliest dream I remember in which I attended a seminar held by the Pokémon Squirtle. He came on stage and said "Hello, I'm Squirtle" and sprayed everyone with water.

I also occasionally have a recurring dream that is just me eating croutons for what feels like an hour and I also had a dream that made me terrified of Timothy Spall.

There are a few things that are consistently featured in my dreams, such as my ability to glide across the floor - either on my heels or floating slightly. So prevalent was this when I was young that I was convinced I'd done it in real life at some point.

It does sometimes become very difficult to distinguish dreams from real life. I didn't get my HND certificate because I thought I already had, but I realised a few days later that I'd actually dreamed it.

So, here are all the dreams that I've remembered...

Dreams recorded: 447

Hitler FM

12/01/2020

I was building Lego with Max Someone said I should do it as a job I quit and started building lots of Lego Someone saw me and I got a…

Death becomes me

11/01/2020

Trapped in a lift with a guy In a superhero movie The villain comes flying over He takes us to Death Death is just a skeleton He steals my skin…

Just over £1

10/01/2020

Lee took me and his girlfriend Sam to KFC There was an offer on and burger and chips was only “just over £1” When we came out the car park…

Jetpack

09/01/2020

At work We had a big new office Matt struggled to find a video I’d done on the one drive I tried to search his computer for ‘Jetpack’ what we…

The purple infinity stone

08/01/2020

Mike had been given the power of people doing what he wanted As he walked down the road, people would move out his way I could get away with not…

Peter Griffin in the toilets

07/01/2020

Peter griffin in the toilets He was going undercover as a woman His lenses fell out of his glasses A woman picked them up and gave him them Two women…

Alice and the spiders

06/01/2020

In bed Looking at my mattress behind my bed There’s a tag on it that says Alice We had the mattress off someone and the girl who it previously belonged…

Attack of the Google man

31/12/2019

I was part of the crew on a spaceship I spent most of the time in my room We went down to earth I watched a programme about an old…

Rastallama

30/12/2019

Me, Mike, Lee Mack and Goodwin were going on holiday We had to catch a train A guy working at the station recognised me from last year He took me…

The gaming expo

29/12/2019

My friend Nadine and I were going to a gaming expo We walked down the road, then crossed over and started walking back down I asked why Nadine said we’d…

Super Uncle

28/12/2019

I became a super hero Dressed in blue and gold My brother Lee and I had to try and get a lamb, a cow and a chicken We got them…

Batwoman’s ukuleles

26/12/2019

I was in a supermarket looking for a few things The staff were all on blue tops They were playing a big game around the shop where they had to…

Shearing Waverley

25/12/2019

I was at work in the office I was sat on a table in the corridor with Matt The room was much bigger At one point he kept nudging my…

The dog magazine

24/12/2019

I thought Mother had locked Zeta out of our house I rushed home and found she hadn’t There were lots of people in front garden Some peeing on the plants,…

The Clamberer

21/12/2019

I was going on a coach trip with mother, nan and grandad. The coach pulled up and we got on. One man and grandad were too slow getting on and…

The supermarket fight

18/12/2019

In a supermarket I was looking at something on a shelf at the end of an aisle A guy came and stood behind me He then dragged me down the…

Miniature Robot Wars

17/12/2019

I was watching a miniature version of robot wars Lee got a dog His dog played with zeta

Lee the cheat

27/11/2019

Wasn’t a very nice dream last night. I dreamt that my brother had cheated on his girlfriend with another woman. I got mad at him and ‘disowned him as my…

The Rhine Pass

29/10/2019

Don’t remember much of this dream. A teacher took me and 3 other students to a place called The Rhine Pass. It was a part of the country where a…

Tell Me More

28/10/2019

I was at a songwriting workshop in a big hall. It was full of ‘cool’ people, musicians who knew they were pretty good. They weren’t hipsters, but you know the…

Chris Evans gives bad advice

23/10/2019

Mike and I went back to school and we managed to lie our way into an art class. We did a bit of painting until everyone left. Then Mike wanted…

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