Since I have such crazy dreams and can often remember them, I decided to start documenting them and tagging them to see the most common things I dream about.
There are lots of dreams in my youth that I never made note of – including the earliest dream I remember in which I attended a seminar held by the Pokémon Squirtle. He came on stage and said "Hello, I'm Squirtle" and sprayed everyone with water.
I also occasionally have a recurring dream that is just me eating croutons for what feels like an hour and I also had a dream that made me terrified of Timothy Spall.
There are a few things that are consistently featured in my dreams, such as my ability to glide across the floor - either on my heels or floating slightly. So prevalent was this when I was young that I was convinced I'd done it in real life at some point.
It does sometimes become very difficult to distinguish dreams from real life. I didn't get my HND certificate because I thought I already had, but I realised a few days later that I'd actually dreamed it.
So, here are all the dreams that I've remembered...
Dreams recorded: 447
Hitler FM
I was building Lego with Max Someone said I should do it as a job I quit and started building lots of Lego Someone saw me and I got a…
Death becomes me
Trapped in a lift with a guy In a superhero movie The villain comes flying over He takes us to Death Death is just a skeleton He steals my skin…
Just over £1
Lee took me and his girlfriend Sam to KFC There was an offer on and burger and chips was only “just over £1” When we came out the car park…
Jetpack
At work We had a big new office Matt struggled to find a video I’d done on the one drive I tried to search his computer for ‘Jetpack’ what we…
The purple infinity stone
Mike had been given the power of people doing what he wanted As he walked down the road, people would move out his way I could get away with not…
Peter Griffin in the toilets
Peter griffin in the toilets He was going undercover as a woman His lenses fell out of his glasses A woman picked them up and gave him them Two women…
Alice and the spiders
In bed Looking at my mattress behind my bed There’s a tag on it that says Alice We had the mattress off someone and the girl who it previously belonged…
Attack of the Google man
I was part of the crew on a spaceship I spent most of the time in my room We went down to earth I watched a programme about an old…
Rastallama
Me, Mike, Lee Mack and Goodwin were going on holiday We had to catch a train A guy working at the station recognised me from last year He took me…
The gaming expo
My friend Nadine and I were going to a gaming expo We walked down the road, then crossed over and started walking back down I asked why Nadine said we’d…
Super Uncle
I became a super hero Dressed in blue and gold My brother Lee and I had to try and get a lamb, a cow and a chicken We got them…
Batwoman’s ukuleles
I was in a supermarket looking for a few things The staff were all on blue tops They were playing a big game around the shop where they had to…
Shearing Waverley
I was at work in the office I was sat on a table in the corridor with Matt The room was much bigger At one point he kept nudging my…
The dog magazine
I thought Mother had locked Zeta out of our house I rushed home and found she hadn’t There were lots of people in front garden Some peeing on the plants,…
The Clamberer
I was going on a coach trip with mother, nan and grandad. The coach pulled up and we got on. One man and grandad were too slow getting on and…
The supermarket fight
In a supermarket I was looking at something on a shelf at the end of an aisle A guy came and stood behind me He then dragged me down the…
Miniature Robot Wars
I was watching a miniature version of robot wars Lee got a dog His dog played with zeta
Lee the cheat
Wasn’t a very nice dream last night. I dreamt that my brother had cheated on his girlfriend with another woman. I got mad at him and ‘disowned him as my…
The Rhine Pass
Don’t remember much of this dream. A teacher took me and 3 other students to a place called The Rhine Pass. It was a part of the country where a…
Tell Me More
I was at a songwriting workshop in a big hall. It was full of ‘cool’ people, musicians who knew they were pretty good. They weren’t hipsters, but you know the…
Chris Evans gives bad advice
Mike and I went back to school and we managed to lie our way into an art class. We did a bit of painting until everyone left. Then Mike wanted…